I buy you

One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed. Well, Thepassion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, Ijust want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT???!!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads tohear..."You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enoughfor me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to mypuzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love Me for who I am and not what Ido for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time withher. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, bigunnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried onseveral different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one totake so I told her we'll just buy them all. She wanted new shoes tocompliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. Wewent to the jewellery department where she picked out a pair of diamondearrings. Let me tell you, she was so excited. She must have thought I wasone wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing mebecause she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how toplay tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine,honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of theexcitement.

Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is alldear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurt out, "No honey, I don't feellike it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled"WHAT??!!!"

I then said "Really honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me tosatisfy your shopping needs as a woman."

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me I added, "Whycan't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you